Not Knowing
by deeh
Summary: It's graduation day for the students and Draco reflects on the years past events. DHr It's kind of depressing


A/N: Well this a very, VERY old story of mine that for some insane reason I've decided to post up. I wrote it about a year ago and would you believe this was my first DHr fiction EVER! I was going through files on my computer the other day and I came across this and I read through it and shouted. "Lord I was a crap writer!" So I took the time to beta myself and edited it A LOT! I wrote it when I was feeling really blue, so the storyline is undeniably depressing. Remember I wrote it ages ago so I may be a bit redundant.Read it if you want and don't forget to Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own nor will I ever claim to own such wonderful characters, JK hold that honor…Dammit.

Not Knowing

In the dark shadows of the Great Hall corner, he swirled his red wine, watching them intensely, even almost glaring at them all. The day of their Graduation had finally arrived and there stood Draco Malfoy watching as all his fellow classmates laughed and chatted frivolously. There they were talking with their companions, laughing joyously with their families – and here he was. Alone. He noticed the Golden Trio instantly, they were among the loudest of them all. Inside their saintly circle, he kept an extra close eye on a girl. He didn't know how he fell in love with her; he didn't know when, all he knew was that she was the only thing he had left. She smiled with her parents; they looked like such a happy bunch – her family. How he envied them, _he_ Draco Malfoy of all people being jealous if a mudblood! It was unheard of. But the horrid reason behind it was Draco Malfoy no longer had a family, Aurors had regretfully killed his Death Eater of a father in Final Battle that had taken place that year between Harry Potter and Voldemort. His mother had somehow died in the attack also.

He scowled deeply and focused his gaze away, there was so much happiness and love in the room and he could no longer stand it. So there he remained in the lone corner by himself, as far away from it as he could manage, hidden by the shadows. He blended so well in the dark, well enough that no one noticed him and he preferred it that way, he didn't want nor did he need anyone's sympathy. So he stood watching the girl who held his heart: The Head Girl, the third part of the infamous trio and not to mention the most intelligent witch in his year – Hermione Granger.

He loved her and that was all he had, nothing else. But he knew it as a glaring fact that his love was not returned. How could she ever love someone that had been so mean and horrible to her for the past seven years? That sneered and made horrible, disgusting remarks about her lineage? The epitome of something bred and born to be evil?

_How could she ever love Draco Malfoy? _

Draco had searched and found no answer to these questions, he knew it would never be, he knew it was impossible but still she held what was left of his heart. Why did she have to steal _his_ heart and lock it away for her keeping? Being Head Boy and Girl they were obliged to spend extra time together, they even had formed a friendship… that is, until he fell for her. Hard. Growing afraid of his feelings he shunned her away. Keeping his distance he turned cold towards her and restored their relationship to what it was, Hate. He was afraid of rejection. Although he thought it would be easier, he witnessed openly the hurt in her eyes as he coldly ordered her away. He could barely stand it as he referred to her as 'mudblood' once again. His thoughts were gravely incorrect.

"_Draco what's wrong? Why are you being like this?" Hermione called after him as he swiftly exited the room. He whipped around and looked at her with his cold grey eyes. Oh how he hid his emotions well, all Malfoys were especially refined in that trait. _

"_Go away Mudblood. I don't want to talk to you." He said icily. Her eyes were glazed with tears of hurt and anguish. _

"_Why? Why are you being like this…? I – I thought we were friends." Her voice was weak in desperation._

"_That's what you thought, we were never friends. I'd never befriend a Mudblood, you are simply nothing to me. What we had, our 'friendship' as you call it was merely a distraction, a mistake a game." _

_Wet, hot tears fell from her eyes. "I hate you! You foul disgusting ferret- faced prat! You're the biggest git I've ever had the misfortune to meet! How dare you do this to me!" With her words lingering dangerously in the air, she ran out of the room tears streaking her face as she sobbed uncontrollably. She left Draco there in the room thinking that he had never liked her at all. But sadly she missed seeing that single tear as it made it's way down his cheek._

That was the biggest mistake of his life.

Again a drop of salt water cascaded slowly down his perfect features. Roughly, he wiped it away hoping that no one had seen. Once again glancing down at the wine in his hand and swirled it around in his glass and took a deep drink hoping that the intoxicating liquid would drown away his sorrows. Unfortunately, it was not that easy. He hated being Draco Malfoy. It was his very existence that he so passionately despised. It was everything about himself. Only a year ago he would be thinking far from these guilty thoughts. Because he was Draco Malfoy, perfect looks, wealth and a reputation to boot. It was ironic that he had millions at his disposal yet his wealth could not bring him warmth and happiness. He also hated that he loved Hermione Granger. Why did he choose to love the one girl in the world that he could not have? Watching her now was maddeningly tantalising and she wasn't even aware of it. He dared a glance in her direction, there she was laughing at a joke Weasley had made, there she was laughing with the rest of the Gryffindors as happy and as merry as can be. It contrasted greatly to how he was alone in the dark shadows and as far as he knew, he deserved it.

"_You know you're not as bad I as I thought Draco…" Hermione's voice entered his mind, a sweet melody as she said his name. _

"_Yeah well you're not so bad either Hermione." He answered. He wanted to say more than that, that he was having feelings for her but no, he wouldn't dare losing her he didn't want to scare her off for he too was afraid of his own growing feelings. They terrified him, confused him and he was completely helpless. Like a prisoner to his own passions. _

_Hermione smiled and softly embraced her new- found friend. And that was all he was to her: a friend. "Who would have thought that we would ever end up being friends?" She joked frivolously. _

"_Yeah they'd probably die of shock." He joked back. She laughed with him, and those were the days. The beginning of seventh year before his feelings truly developed. _

He took another swig of the cool liquid. It travelled down his throat warming his insides but still it could not warm the feeling of ice in his heart. There was still the gaping void inside his heart and that certain void that could only be filled by one person. The only person who actually cared for him, that was a loyal friend, especially who treated him as Draco and not Malfoy. Yet he pushed her away, yet he caused her eyes to tear. All because he was feared, he feared his strengthening feelings, the thought of losing her was just too much to bear. He wanted to trust her but how on earth would his father react? Draco Malfoy was a coward and a fool to let go of something precious to let a priceless jewel slip from his grasp.

Hermione's head shot in his direction. Draco had expected her to shoot him a Death Glare, but surprisingly she did not. She gazed at him with confusion and sadness swirling in her innocent brown eyes. Draco simply looked at her, his face passive, memorising the way she looked perfect in her pretty gold dress robes on that cheery Graduation night. It would be the last time that he would ever lay his eyes upon her.

_She is so lucky_…he thought. He envied what she had. Loyal friends, a loving family and a perfect life. _She doesn't need me…I'll just ruin that_. His guilt and regret had consumed him. Having no one to console him and listen, his demons had eventually consumed him and a tyranny of pity dictated his thoughts.

Draco looked away from her cinnamon gaze and shifted his eyes to the tall wizard approaching him.

Albus Dumbledore

His Headmaster approached him. "Are you well Mr. Malfoy? I must say you look rather melancholic standing here in the shadows by yourself." He told him kindly.

"I am fine Headmaster, but thankyou for your concern." Draco silently wished that the old man would go away even though he knew as fact that he wouldn't. Draco's gaze once again settled upon Hermione.

"Such a precious jewel to let it slip from your grasp." Dumbledore said breaking Draco out of his reverie.

"Excuse me?"

"Mr. Malfoy, I am aware of a certain level of correspondence between you and Miss Granger and I venture that your relationship did not end well." There was a look in Dumbledore's eyes that told Draco that he knew all and perhaps even the thoughts that chanced upon his mind at that moment. Draco wished with everything to ignore the old man and return to his own world, the world he lived in where he owned nothing to live for. His parents were deceased, he had no friends and no one would give a damn if he died then and there. Draco knew that a certain several people would simply rejoice at the idea of his death, his one and only love never loved him back and never would. Draco was drowning in his waves of sorrow and oceans of guilt. He was too deeply submerged that not a soul could rescue him from his own ocean that he had created for especially for himself. Except maybe one, but she was oblivious to all.

"So is this the path that you have chosen?" Dumbledore asked with a tone of immediate seriousness. His eyed Draco, his blue eyes pierced into Draco's soul. The twinkle that usually sparkled within them was gone and was replaced by a look of sadness and sympathy.

Who was this guy, A mind reader? However Draco was well aware of how powerful Dumbledore was or maybe Draco was being decisively obvious about his decisions. He simply nodded slowly and turned to his Headmaster and stuck out his hand - his last goodbye.

"Goodbye Professor." Said Draco, shaking Dumbledore's hand.

"Goodbye Draco, Be well." Dumbledore said sadly, it was ironic, as he knew what was about to befall the young man. Draco turned around and walked boldly up to the Gryffindor table. He knew what he was going to do and what he _had_ to do. There was no point now. As soon as he walked up to he received glares from everyone around, but Draco didn't care whether they welcomed him or shunned his presence, all he cared about was _she_. But…she hated his guts. Draco looked around and surveyed them all.

"Congratulations Potter, Weasley." Draco said serenely holding out his hand. Harry and Ron were stunned for a moment and eyed Draco suspiciously.

"What are you playing at Malfoy?" Harry asked him menacingly.

Draco didn't look offended nor did he have any intention of retaliating with some vicious remark of his. This had once again stunned the table and those who inhabited the near vicinity.

"Nothing Potter just to simply grant a congratulations to both you and Weasley." There was no malice or mock in his voice. There was no evil intent as he shook their hands. It was just plain and simple congratulations. Harry and Ron were both too shocked to speak as Draco turned to face Hermione.

He shook her hand slowly then pulled her close. Her eyes widened in reaction and glared at him. But her features softened as soon as he began to speak, as his soft intoxicated breath tickled her ear.

"Goodbye Hermione, Congratulations and…" He hesitated. Was he really going to do this? Yes. "…I'm sorry."

Draco swept off in a sea of billowing black robes and strode towards the doors of the Great Hall. Hermione stared fixedly after him attempting to contemplate the meaning behind his bizarre words. Draco pushed open the large door of the Great Hall and stepped into the rain as the large oak doors banged closed behind him. Within a few minutes he drenched from head to toe.

This was it. Draco Malfoy no longer had anything to live for. He hated himself for letting Hermione go. But he knew his love was never returned. Never would she love a git, a prat. She never loved him, no one did. Draco Malfoy had nothing.

He plunged his hand into his inner robe pocket and retrieved his wand. Pointing his wand to his chest he spoke those two words, those two horrible words. He channelled all his self-loathing, hate and hurt into that curse.

" Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light shot out of his wand and Draco Malfoy ceased to exist. Another soul departed from the world. Draco Malfoy, the last of the infamous Pureblooded line, the only man who truly loved Hermione Granger was dead. He killed himself at the foot of the Hogwarts steps.

----

A blast was heard from outside the Hall just minutes after Draco had walked out of the Hall. Hermione stood up in an instant in complete worry. Without a thought she bolted from her chair and ran out into the rain. Dumbledore and the rest of the Graduated seventh year quickly followed her.

Lifting her skirts Hermione ran frantically down the steps. She stopped. There she saw his mangled body soaked from head to toe lying in the mud, his wand in hand. She let out an anguished cry and ran over to him. She cried over his lifeless body as she shed tears of, hurt and regret on his now peaceful features. A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder she looked up and saw the face of Dumbledore. Her vision was blurred from tears but she could tell it was her old Headmaster and she had read his grave expression. He knew that this was going to happen. Hermione looked back down to Draco and buried her face into his cold, wet chest sobbing. She didn't care that she thought he hated her but still she cried for him. She cried for Draco Malfoy, the man no one loved?

Draco Malfoy was dead, he died with Hermione Granger not knowing how much he loved her.

Draco Malfoy was dead, not knowing how much Hermione Granger had loved him also.

The End.

I think this is the shortest fanfic I've ever written…anyway Reviews please! Please, please!


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